Different Ages and Stages of Life
During our time at seminary, my wife and I made some wonderful friendships. I remember one couple in particular whom we are still friends with to this day. They became our family. We were newly married. We didn’t have any children. They had three so to make things easy we regularly went to their home. We would spend evenings over at their house sharing a meal, laughing, talking, praying, playing with their kids etc. We even had the honor of helping during their nightly routines (brushing teeth, washing faces, story time, prayer time, bible reading). By all accounts they were striving to parent in such a gospel-centered way. It was such a joy to witness, learn, and be a part of. Erin and I will cherish those times forever.
At New City we encourage generational diversity, especially in our MC’s, our Missional Communities. Missional Communities are our small weekly gatherings that encourage and help one another live out the gospel in our every day lives. Rather than having an MC solely made of 40-somethings or 20-somethings, we encourage a diversity in ages. We see that in scripture right? Older men teaching the younger men. Older women teaching the younger women. (Titus 2:1-8, Psalm 71:17-18)
Gathering with people similar to your age or in the same stage of life is easy right? It’s definitely not wrong! You have a lot in common. You probably have the same likes and dislikes. You probably watched the same shows. Saw or experienced the same culture growing up. But what about the struggles? I remember in college I spent most of my time with my peers. When a problem came, there was no one with experience that could help me. Sure they were trying to be helpful, throwing out possible solutions that seemed to make sense. What I really needed were people who had already gone through the things I was currently going through, who learned and grew, learned from the situation and grew in their faith and trust in Jesus.
Going back to the beginning story, where would we be as parents if we had not walked through our friends rhythms of parenting and witnessed that? I mean, we are definitely not perfect parents but we at least had a good point of reference so that when the time came, we’d be prepared (…somewhat). It would have been easy for us to find other couples who didn’t have kids and hang out with them. We wouldn’t have had to deal with kids or work around nap times. The beauty is we learned priceless lessons about parenting and marriage because they had been there or were currently going through it.
You’re probably reading this and thinking, “yeah but what do I have in common with someone twice as old as me??” Or “I don’t have anything to talk about with someone who’s always on their phone.” The beautiful thing is Christ has leveled the playing field. We all struggle. We all chase after our own idols and self-glorification. We’re all in need. Christ is our common denominator, the cornerstone of not just my faith, but your faith, his faith, her faith, our faith. In an age where articles and blogs are telling us about the younger or older generation, what better way to know than to have a relationship with that person? What better way to step out of your comfort zone and love someone who is generationally different from you and/or is in a completely different stage of life? We get to do that in our MC’s. This is one of the reasons why I absolutely love our MC’s
I know it’s difficult. It’s not something we’re used to.
Will it be awkward to start off with? Most likely.
Will you not know what to say sometimes? Sure.
Is it going to take an intentional effort? Absolutely.
Is it worth it? An Overwhelming YES!!!
Arthur Lin
